Profound Moments

Let me first start by giving an update on Alisha's situation. The birth of Irelyn was amazingly easy! She had two good days to recuperate before surgery-not much, but it certainly helped! However, once the doctors performed the surgery, they discovered she had stomach cancer. Stomach cancer, in it's late stages, can be a formidable foe. She started chemotherapy a few days ago. Anyone interested in sending her a little gift or note of encouragement, please let me know! First National Bank also has a fund set up for she and the family, to help off-set the costs associated with being hospitalized and minimizing work hours.

News of Alisha's condition has left me very emotionally raw and drained. I had not been coping with it well at all. I love my cousin like a sister. We spent most of our youth together dreaming about the grand things we would become. So to see her now enduring the new diagnosis and all the pain that goes with it has been emotionally crippling. I even dreamt that I was the one with cancer. In a very specific way, I went from feeling like the world was my oyster to feeling like I was trapped in a small box with a limited air supply and glass walls that let in too much sun. I felt panicked and claustrophobic. I felt like life was coming at me like a full-frontal assault and there was nothing I could do to defend myself.

Today, God impressed something on my heart, in a way only He can. I have been obsessing over the details, as though that in itself would make the cancer shrink away. I was talking on the phone to Dan, and started crying about Alisha's condition. Suddenly what I was saying hit me in a new way, but I figured it was just the emotions of the moment. Later that night, I was leaving work while a torrential rainfall emptied onto the inhabitants of Gainesville. To get to my car, I have to push the crosswalk button and wait, without even a decent shelter nearby should the sky decide to let loose its' bounty. Tonight was no different, and I didn't have my umbrella. As I stood there, I was momentarily agitated with the sensation of getting soaking wet. It certainly wasn't something I volunteered myself for. I could feel every single drop of rain, and each one seemed to magnify my annoyance.
By the time I had crossed the street however, for some reason I resolved that there wasn't a thing I could do to stop the rain, or to keep myself dry from it-short of lurking in a dark alley in the bad part of town. Suddenly I embraced it instead. Not that I ran around in circles in my parking lot, but I stopped being bothered by that which I had no control over. Moreover these pure droplets from the sky seemed invigorating, refreshing, cleansing, renewing; as if they were a confirmation of what God was telling me in that moment.
I realized that it's the same with Alisha's illness. I am very limited in the contributions I can make to guarantee a cure, and while I don't embrace the cancer, I embrace that God is in control of what her future holds. Of course I'm more than happy to contribute what I can and to continually pray for God's peace and healing. However I'm thankful for the reminder that she is squarely in the palm of His loving hands, and that He will do right by His daughter.

How Precious Is Life..Please Pray for Alisha!

My cousin, in her 7th month of pregnancy, has recently learned that she has 3rd stage ovarian cancer. The good news (if it can be called that) is it is mild-aggressive, the most treatable kind. Life is precious, and I'm daily in fervent prayer that God will protect the life of Alisha and her unborn baby. PLEASE DO THE SAME!

There have been some recent updates: This Sunday Alisha will be induced, and she should give birth no later than Tuesday. She can't deliver the baby via C-Section, because she is too anemic and they are concerned about the loss of blood. The doctors in Denver found that the cancer has spread to both ovaries, her uterus, and her spleen. So on Thursday, after just a few days of recovery, she will undergo surgery to have all of those parts removed. Then again with just a few days to recover, she will undergo chemotherapy. She has also had a build-up of fluid around her abdomen, which they drain periodically, as it adds to her discomfort.

Please pray for Alisha, that she will heal quickly in-between these events, that she will continue in her confidence in God, that she will not be overcome by fear, and ultimately, that God will carry her through this extremely difficult time and give her many more years of blessed life. Please pray for the doctors caring for her, and for her family who is there in Denver with her now. Please pray that they will all be blessed with a peace beyond understanding!

Thou Shalt Not Rip on American Idol

This is the cardinal commandment of post-idol rejection, which I am now putting into practice. Sure, I could be one of those people who ooze bitterness and lament over the gimmick contestants that stole their golden ticket, but that's soooo last season...

Instead I'm choosing to recount the things I have to be grateful for: I'm grateful that I didn't break down in front of the judge and squeak my way through the song. I stood up straight, looked him right in the eye, snapped, and belted it out as best I can. I feel good about that. Second, I'm grateful that I was being myself, and if they weren't in the market for the Lacy-types that day, then at least I wasn't trying to be someone else. Third, and the biggest one, I'm grateful that I'm constantly surrounded by friends and family who I love and who have a mutual place in their hearts for me, who want more than a 30 second interview! I'm also grateful that I'm still a singer, and I know God has plans for this voice.

That being said, I can see things I might have done differently. Walking to the middle of the audition space instead of standing right in front of the judge, or smiling more, picking a different song...these are all little things that may have tipped the scales in my favor, I think. Who knows?

Rejection is hard, and it's tempting to think I must be a no-talent hack who should've spent more time carving out a legitimate trade. But at the end of the Day, Idol is a TV show before it's a talent competition. Sure, it would've provided a huuuge boost in my singing career, but I witnessed with my own eyes other talented singers who felt they had a good chance getting shot down yesterday. Music goes on, with or without the influence of Idol. What hurts a little is that they generate so much excitement for their own purposes. They know, as I knew somewhere in the back of my head, that of those thousands of singers yesterday, only a lucky few would make it through. Emphasis on "lucky": the whole experience felt much more like gambling than it did an audition. You could tell there were a few contestants who really knew how to catch the judges eye, by sitting on the table or throwing down their hats...and MY hat is off to them, because a lot of them did make it.

Anyway, the rest of the crowd was necessary for the show material. We stood forever on the steps to the arena, for instance, saying things like "I'm the next American Idol!" over and over. Then Ryan Seacrest showed up and we had to cheer after he said some kind of introduction. I guess some people think participation like that is fun. I'm just more of the mind that I don't want my 15 minutes of fame to be used up while standing in a huge crowd. Moreover, I'm not the kind of girl who enjoys getting up at 2am to curl my hair and glob on make-up just for the chance to be one more hopeful face beaming at the camera. Maybe I'm just getting too old...

I'm not sure if I'll audition again, probably not. I feel like it was a valuable experience, in that it proved that the unlikely chance of getting through is for the small few. It showed me that I don't necessarily want to be the "STAR" everyone gets to ogle over. I want to be a rousing musician whose songs motivate people to do the right thing, and it's always more fun if you get to do that with a group of people, instead of all by yourself. Don't get me wrong--if I had made it through, I would be clinging to that ticket for dear life. Still, I'm glad for the reminder.

American Idol! For real...

Before 4:30 had time to hit this morning, Dan and I found ourselves being corralled between portable barricades. Like thousands of others, we stood for a while and then begrudgingly sat upon the cushy concrete...after a night of no sleep, just about any sitting surface feels pretty great. Sound fun? It was all by choice-my choice to audition for American Idol Season 9. Dan chose to accompany me, even offering to go clothes shopping so we can find the perfect outfit. He's certainly a special man! I'm confident he's the only one of his kind...sorry ladies...
The rest of the Idol herd was obviously super energized, opting to break out in their showcase song instead of lowing, and waiting for a split-second chance to flash their carefully practiced smiles and wave at the passing cameramen...everyone practices their smile right?? I'm not ashamed to say I do. I'm more than happy with how God made me, but my mouth demands a little finesse in order to produce a shimmery grin, opposed to a maniacal sneer. I think I've got the face muscles down, but there is a fine line between the two.
A group of camera-hungry gals right in front of us got a few great opportunities to show their style. One of them sang a portion of her song onto a very old cell phone held out by a local radio show host. I'm not one to critique a girl who cannot defend herself, so that's all I will say. That's how it went a lot of the morning. Some people were obviously talented, and you wondered how they would fare with the judges. Others were not so, and the same thought occurred because, like it or not, AI is a television show. They have to make their money the same as other shows, on RATINGS. A group of talented super-singers effortlessly gliding through is not nearly enough controversy to spark the general population's interest. Hence America's love/hate relationship with Simon (not that I mean to speak bad of him. I very much hope to reach the point where he may in fact sear me in the heat of his scrutiny, but will be even more delighted if it goes the other way :).

Anyhow four hours later, we were moving through our corral and up the small steps to Amway Arena. We stood in a brief line and waited our turn to quickly flash and ID, stick out our arm, and receive an armband and seat tickets. Mine was yellow, indicating I'll be taking the leap before complete strangers with the power to push me closer to my dreams, or focus me in another direction completely. Dan's was white, indicating he's the lucky one who gets to sit in the stands and agonize over my figure among the throngs as I slowly inch closer and closer to the jury.

The whole registration process took less than a minute. Now we get to wait two days, head back, and take part as the REAL fun begins.

Why McChurch?

Well, first because I don't know how to change it to something a little more--applicable? Second, it' a little joke about how people are getting their spiritual food these days. It makes me sad that the most popular Christian programs are usually two things: un-controversial (IE watered-down) and misleading. "The main thing, is to keep the main thing the main thing"...or something like that. Here to me is the main thing: Jesus Christ was crucified on a cross to cure the impossible curse of sin, created by no other than the cretinous race of man. Cretinous is defined as, "a stupid, obtuse, or mentally defective person". Too strong a definition for my own? Nah, probably too mild in fact!
I was giving Dan a little foot rub yesterday. As my fingers pressed against his bones and ligaments, I imagined the sheer gruesome agony a crude spike mercilessly blasted through a foot would cause. Not because I was thinking of causin him pain!! Rather, because I imagined how it was done to the One I love most. Raise your hand if you would endure such an act while filled with a heart of love for the one conducting it...

Excuses

I am the QUEEN of them! How many reasons do I have for why I didn't do the right thing, even why I'm not GOING to? More than I wish to count. But as I'm viewing myself realistically in this moment, I have to admit that it's time to do an inventory. In my employ I have far too many fallback reasons and not enough drive to do the right thing FIRST! In my highly creative and sometime out-of-touch outlook, it is soooo very good to remember that order is a blessing, that it is essential-that it is often the key to combating future heartache! I love that God has given me life. Yet I forget that with that, comes the responsibility to live it to the fullest-to conduct myself purposefully and strategically, not simply to drift along seeking out that which brings joy or "good feelings". I can think of a dozen bible verses that speak directly to this issue. I believe in my life, it's time to switch gears- to truly ask God what He would have me do with my life, instead of thinking up my own "good ideas". I LOVE spontanaeity, I love unexpected surprises, and those things can be great. Sometimes? Fine. All the time? Chaos! Anyone else been feeling this way? Drop me a line!

Yahoo Answers - Hardwired to worship question

This was asked by me in Yahoo answers where I got some great responses and some not so great...

If we are hardwired to worship, why are some so devoted to denying belief in a Higher Power?
Wouldn't it lead one to believe that it goes against our design to refute belief in God? Even tribes in the Amazon look into the sky, see deity, and declare faith in "The Big One".
4 days ago



Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
actually a never heard it put quite that way before. however, it was beautifully phrase.God is the last thing they would be devoted too ,and for good reason too.humans were created for one purpose to worship their Creator.that's why we have constantly in the past put mere humans up on pedestals and worshiped them as living gods.a good example for these modern times would stem from that ongoing worship of those super rich rock, and movie stars. i personally have not seen anything like what's happening out there right now. my goodness so many slavishly obedient sheep out there today worshiping each other.it leaves so little room for God

Asker's Comment:
Well put, tx for the compliment!


All Answers Oldest to Newest Newest to Oldest Rated Highest to Lowest

by The Pope
Where did you get this information? It has been my experience that the more educated someone is, the less likely they are to believe in a set religion.



by <3>
why do you say we are "hardwired to worship"? where are you getting your evidence


by Ukiah
Your original question contains false assumptions.


by Dominic
Human beings have uniquely evolved to possess powerful tools of deduction and reason. It is this human quality that allows some to rationally transcend their animalistic impulses.Yeah...I'm just bs'ing.


by Tim A
We have an appendix too. Eventually things that evolved over long periods of time can outlive their usefulness.


by Sweet Suzy 777!
Rom 1:18 But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who push the truth away from themselves. [fn] Rom 1:19 For the truth about God is known to them instinctively. [fn] God has put this knowledge in their hearts. Rom 1:20 From the time the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky and all that God made. They can clearly see his invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God. Rom 1:21 Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn't worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. The result was that their minds became dark and confused. Rom 1:22 Claiming to be wise, they became utter fools instead.



by Beth
Amazon tribes are probably looking at an airplane in the sky when they call it god or the big one. people use god to describe what they can't explain.



by Alex
Because with intelligence you can overcome your animal instincts.



by thereald...
Your brains are hardwired to worship, maybe.Mine aren't. Sorry, but it looks like you lost this one.


by Sherri Lynn
how are we hardwired to worship? if anything, we are made to question things and be logical, which some people believe is not blindly following a god they've never physically seen. some people are made skeptical, and if you believe in god or a higher power, then you have to realize that people were made that way.



by hotlavaf...
Denying belief in the higher power is their form of worship!



by satanfx5...
its not that we are "hard wired" to worship. We are "hard wired" to fear death, and religion promises us a nice place to go when we die so we do not have to worry about that.


by marci knows best
If... then... If your first premise is false, then all conclusions will necessarily be false as well.


by monstero...
I don't believe that were "hardwired to worship" were hardwired to find out why things work. and simpler people such as those in the amazon, not having a formal education might not understand that the earth revolves around the sun, and might not have ever heard of gravity could use the simple explanation "The Big One." he's doing it. Good answer.



by Skeff
!. I don't deny belief. I do not believe.2. Design implies that a "higher power" designed us to believe in it. See #1.3. Just because self-proclaimed "civilized" peoples believe in god(s) doesn't mean they are any less superstitious, indoctrinated or deluded than the "less civilized" peoples. Quotes are to emphasize the arrogance and self-righteousness of the self-proclaimed "civilized" ones.


by Urethra Franklin
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It's the conditioning of our Zionist Jewish controlled culture who hate Christianity, so they have inculcated Americans in schools and through the media to think that God and Truth isn't important in their lives. The Zionist have infiltrated everything and have used science to negate what is spiritual and keep away from it.


by Amom
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PRIDE - we think we are masters of our own lives. We have no control over life or death. But God has placed a need for him in our soul! That is why "Even tribes in the Amazon look into the sky, see deity, and declare faith in "The Big One"."