Striving Against the Odds

Please, please...as soon as you read this, please start praying. Your continued prayers are so appreciated!

The stint that was supposed to enable Alisha to eat did not fix the problem. Apparently, not even the fluid she drinks is going through her system, but instead is building up. She's still not able to take in food orally. Her overall weight has dropped immensely. Doctors are going to try other tactics to by-pass the blockage. Her stomach has shut down completely, and she is in a very weak state.

Add to all this, that they cannot wait any longer to administer the chemotherapy. Originally they were waiting until she could eat and regain some of her strength.

My heart is wrenched with sadness....I know God can do all things, but it's just whether or not, in His infinite wisdom, He will. She needs a break, and as of yet, she's just not catching any.
Please continue to bring her up in your prayer meetings, along with Joy, Janet, Mitch, and John. One of them is with her at all times. There is no rest for them right now, and who knows if they would take if even if they could find it?

It's hard not to feel as though the situation is more dire with each passing day, but I am grateful that God doesn't look at it that way.

Much Love,
Lace

Alisha Update

I spoke with my Grammy last Wednesday to see how Alisha was doing, and the report did my heart good. So I thought I should share!

As I said before, Alisha hasn't been able to keep down food at all, and has been receiving nutrition via I.V.. She told me that a little bit ago, Alisha was having a particularly harsh day. She had been so sick. That day, Grammy came into the room where Alisha was resting to check up on her. She was watching an inspirational speaker on TV, and at the sight of my Grammy she burst into tears. She told her, "Grammy, I KNOW there is a blockage in my stomach. I know it, I can feel it; and I also know the doctors are going to find it, and the surgeons are going to FIX it!" (I'm paraphrasing)

Sure enough, they checked her out, and there was a blockage. They scheduled a surgery for last wednesday to by-pass the blockage via a stint. Before the surgery, Grammy approached Alisha and said, "Now, you told me with a strong conviction that there was a blockage, and you were right. I need something to hold onto here; are you as confident that they will be able to perform this surgery successfully?" (Because apparently it is not just a straightforward procedure; plenty of things can go wrong) and again Alisha told her with full confidence, "Yes!"

Turns out she was 100% right, again. The surgery went even better than they could have hoped, and the stint is in place. I still have yet to hear about whether or not she has been able to eat, but I have (as I hope you do) very high hopes!

It was so good to hear, because being so far away, I tend to get over-creative. I imagine Alisha sleeping so much of the time, and barely conscious when she's awake because of the prescriptions she is on, the toll this is all taking on her body. But that's secondary to how good it was to hear that she is in this fight full-force.

One thing I can say confidently about my cousin is that in difficult sutiations, she never spends time feeling sorry for herself. Instead, she looks ahead to what needs to be done, and she focuses on that. Maybe it's a trait God gave her specifically for a time like this, who knows??

Please continue to keep her in your prayers! Anyone who needs an address for gifts, cards, etc, let me know!

Much Love!
Lace

BBBBBBBbbbbbblllllloooooogh...

Life can be so strange. I"m baffled sometimes, thinking of the billions of people on this earth, each with their own unique perspective, life experiences, joys and pains...

But before I get too far, let me just slap a quick qualifier on here: this post is going to be a whole lotta nothing substantial. Or maybe lots of little substantial tidbits all sewn together...one way or the other, I feel the need to pin down a section of the multitude of floating thoughts all meshed together in my head, and somehow a (VERY) public forum such as an unsecured blog on the internet appears the best way to do it! LOL!

I remember growing up, that there were things I just knew I was going to be someday: an actress, a veterinarian, a black belt, the first female baseball player for the Oakland Athletics (the team choice...had to do with the team colors. Devoting yourself to a team because they have an appealing logo makes a lot of sense to an artistic kid under the age of 10), a singer, a missionary, a camp counselor, a professional skier, a painter, a firefighter....and so many other things. Two things impacted my aspirations greatly: TV, and meeting someone who I liked, who held a certain profession. The second I recognized someone doing something well and really enjoying it, I became convinced that I could do the same thing, exact the same enjoyment. No matter what it was! A florist, a chef, a conductor (oh yeah; I was convinced I was going to be one of those child prodigies who had their own symphony all ready to wow the general public)

Fast-forward to today: I am one of those things. I'm a singer. The older I get, the more I realize how much I feel like I'm stepping into the specific role that God created me for when I sing. I want to make uplifting, inspirational music that stirs people's hearts to aspire for something greater and bigger than themselves, not music that highlights and even exalts the base things of this world. I don't know about you, but when I hear "uplifting, inspirational" music, I think of soft beats, ethereal tones....like Enya or something. That's not what I'm talking about. I want my music to address everyday issues that are so real to people. To embody the sadness life can bring, and then to offer the reminder that hope is alive.

Sometimes I feel like singing is the only thing that anchors me to this chaotic world. I feel like it's a valid and practical contribution that I can make. I'm glad for the way God created me, though I know He's got a looooong way to go (balancing the checkbook might be my next step...I don't know the last time I actually did that).

I used to thing it was the hard knocks that took away all my other aspirations, until I realized how much I truly love to sing. There's more I'd like to do with my life, however. I'd love to be a mommy some day, for instance. However, even at the age of 26 I feel ill-equipped for the task. I'd like to be better with money matters. I'd like to stop letting my past experiences hinder my present witness. I'd like to wake up every day, commit that day to the Lord, and walk forward in confidence in Him. I'd like to feel comfortable, not self-conscious, around people I haven't met (this comes to mind especially because I'm trying a new church tomorrow. I love my CC Gainesville, but the new move has put a hearty distance between us. So I'm off to check out the First Assembly). I feel like a lot of these things need to be in play before I can even consider bringing another life into this world.

Sometimes I feel like life is going to slip away from me. I think of the trillions of people who have tread this earth before me; what do I know of them? What will others know of me when I pass? Will it even matter that I was here? Oh, vanity of vanities. I often feel the anguish Solomon seemed to pour out in the first part of Ecclesiasties, and I have to remember that he found meaning in life, after all. I just want to leave some kind of tangible mark, and I feel like I'm on the slow track, attempting to angle myself in the right direction to do it.

In the end, it always comforts me to remember that God is good, and His plan for me is just as specific as it can be. Sometimes I think of God's plan as stealing away my identity, instead of utilizing me along with His other servants to accomplish His will. I'm still a little stubborn, I guess! God teach me...

There are so many other thoughts in my head; I think this suffices for now, though. Otherwise this might become a tangent so long, even I won't want to spend the time reviewing it in the future!

Alisha's New Address

Howdy Folks,

I got word from John yesterday that Alisha's been having a very difficult time eating, with the nausea etc. Consequently, She has been re-hospitalized for a little bit so she can get some desperately needed proper nutrition. Pray she won't have to stay too long, and she can continue to take in food on her own, at home.
Also, they have news from her blood tests. She was tested in Denver, and they did not see the kind of improvement that they had hoped for. However, once she was back home they did another test, and though it wasn't perfect, it was far better than the Denver results! Praise God!!!

If you need her new home address for gifts etc., catch me on facebook and let me know.

Much Love!!!

Update On Alisha

First, thanks to the folks who are interceding in prayer on Alisha's behalf.

Well, Alisha and the family are all back in Durango now. Irelyn is off of oxygen (Praise God!) and is every day a little stronger. She is a sweet, tiny, healthy gift from God!

Alisha is on oxygen, and has begun chemotherapy. She had some blood tests taken last week to determine how her body is responding to the treatment. The family is awaiting the results. As part of the treatment, she has medication that she has to take every two hours. She's under constant supervision, because the meds make her very drowsy and someone needs to be around to ensure she takes them on schedule.

Please let me know if you need additional info, or if you'd like to send the family a note of encouragement! I believe they also have a fund at FNB in Alisha's name, to help offset the cost of the medical bills.

God Bless Y'all!

Profound Moments

Let me first start by giving an update on Alisha's situation. The birth of Irelyn was amazingly easy! She had two good days to recuperate before surgery-not much, but it certainly helped! However, once the doctors performed the surgery, they discovered she had stomach cancer. Stomach cancer, in it's late stages, can be a formidable foe. She started chemotherapy a few days ago. Anyone interested in sending her a little gift or note of encouragement, please let me know! First National Bank also has a fund set up for she and the family, to help off-set the costs associated with being hospitalized and minimizing work hours.

News of Alisha's condition has left me very emotionally raw and drained. I had not been coping with it well at all. I love my cousin like a sister. We spent most of our youth together dreaming about the grand things we would become. So to see her now enduring the new diagnosis and all the pain that goes with it has been emotionally crippling. I even dreamt that I was the one with cancer. In a very specific way, I went from feeling like the world was my oyster to feeling like I was trapped in a small box with a limited air supply and glass walls that let in too much sun. I felt panicked and claustrophobic. I felt like life was coming at me like a full-frontal assault and there was nothing I could do to defend myself.

Today, God impressed something on my heart, in a way only He can. I have been obsessing over the details, as though that in itself would make the cancer shrink away. I was talking on the phone to Dan, and started crying about Alisha's condition. Suddenly what I was saying hit me in a new way, but I figured it was just the emotions of the moment. Later that night, I was leaving work while a torrential rainfall emptied onto the inhabitants of Gainesville. To get to my car, I have to push the crosswalk button and wait, without even a decent shelter nearby should the sky decide to let loose its' bounty. Tonight was no different, and I didn't have my umbrella. As I stood there, I was momentarily agitated with the sensation of getting soaking wet. It certainly wasn't something I volunteered myself for. I could feel every single drop of rain, and each one seemed to magnify my annoyance.
By the time I had crossed the street however, for some reason I resolved that there wasn't a thing I could do to stop the rain, or to keep myself dry from it-short of lurking in a dark alley in the bad part of town. Suddenly I embraced it instead. Not that I ran around in circles in my parking lot, but I stopped being bothered by that which I had no control over. Moreover these pure droplets from the sky seemed invigorating, refreshing, cleansing, renewing; as if they were a confirmation of what God was telling me in that moment.
I realized that it's the same with Alisha's illness. I am very limited in the contributions I can make to guarantee a cure, and while I don't embrace the cancer, I embrace that God is in control of what her future holds. Of course I'm more than happy to contribute what I can and to continually pray for God's peace and healing. However I'm thankful for the reminder that she is squarely in the palm of His loving hands, and that He will do right by His daughter.

How Precious Is Life..Please Pray for Alisha!

My cousin, in her 7th month of pregnancy, has recently learned that she has 3rd stage ovarian cancer. The good news (if it can be called that) is it is mild-aggressive, the most treatable kind. Life is precious, and I'm daily in fervent prayer that God will protect the life of Alisha and her unborn baby. PLEASE DO THE SAME!

There have been some recent updates: This Sunday Alisha will be induced, and she should give birth no later than Tuesday. She can't deliver the baby via C-Section, because she is too anemic and they are concerned about the loss of blood. The doctors in Denver found that the cancer has spread to both ovaries, her uterus, and her spleen. So on Thursday, after just a few days of recovery, she will undergo surgery to have all of those parts removed. Then again with just a few days to recover, she will undergo chemotherapy. She has also had a build-up of fluid around her abdomen, which they drain periodically, as it adds to her discomfort.

Please pray for Alisha, that she will heal quickly in-between these events, that she will continue in her confidence in God, that she will not be overcome by fear, and ultimately, that God will carry her through this extremely difficult time and give her many more years of blessed life. Please pray for the doctors caring for her, and for her family who is there in Denver with her now. Please pray that they will all be blessed with a peace beyond understanding!